TheDramaMom.com

Sometimes I think if people walked into my house they would think I am mentally ill. Not always, mind you--- sometimes (more and more often, I have found, as I get older) my house is spic and span, or as spicky and spanny it can get with four children under the age of 8. Those are the rare, beautifully peaceful times when I can feel justified in sitting and reading, or when I feel like whipping up something in the kitchen because the shiny counters and humming dishwasher call to me.

But often, my house is a pit of despair. A dirty, filthy, dusty pit of despair. You know it’s bad if the fourteenth poop-stain on the carpet just makes you shrug your shoulders.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to be like Martha Stewart—--everything gleaming and color coordinated and organized to the Nth degree. I see her magazines at various holiday-times and they successfully make me long for a cape-cod style house with pristine white wainscoting. I flip through the mag and mumble, “oh, that homemade prune cake looks good.” Or “maybe I could label and code my books by author, size and subject!”

And then I go eat another brownie and watch some Big Brother.

Here are Martha’s gentle suggestions for packing for a 5 day jaunt to Nantucket:

1. Sweaters-
To maintain the shape of knitted tops and chunkier sweaters, line the back of each garment with a few sheets of acid-free tissue paper before folding. These items should never be stored on hangers, either at hotels or at home; doing so can cause the fibers near the shoulders to stretch.

2. Footwear-
Each pair is kept in an individual drawstring-topped shoe bag. Stuff the toes of my pumps and other dress shoes with acid-free tissue paper.

3. Assembled Outfits-
To streamline both packing and dressing on trips, plan outfits ahead of time, complete with shoes and accessories. Put each outfit on a single hanger (unless the top is a sweater) and wrap it in plastic.

Acid free tissue paper? Plastic? Really, Martha?

Or you could follow MY packing advice, which is:

1) At the last minute throw all dirty underwear that was previously on the bedroom floor into washing machine.

2) Haphazardly throw other semi-clean clothes in old, ratty suitcase, praying that you can find a washing machine where you are going.

3) Go eat a brownie and watch Big Brother.